If CVs were written like job postings.
Ever wondered how candidates would come across if their CVs acted like job postings?
Me too.
Here’s what that might look like…
ABOUT ME:
I’m a passionate (insert job title here). You’ll love employing me because I’m a great communicator, and can work alone and as part of a team.
WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR:
A job that is challenging and interesting, but only on days when I feel motivated.
WHAT YOU’LL NEED TO GIVE ME:
· £200k per year
· 30% pension contribution
· Guaranteed bonus
· Fully remote
· 4-day week
· Company car, even though I’m remote (and not in sales).
· Private healthcare for my family and friends, and their respective pets.
THE NICE TO HAVES:
A £5,000 gaming PC, so Excel loads in less than a minute.
A corner office with a mahogany desk and a nice view, in case I ever want to go to the actual office.
A commercial-grade coffee machine for home, with a barista that comes between the hours of 7 am and 9 am. But only on weekdays, as I don’t want to take the piss.
Please send interview arrangements and salary details to howdoesitfeel@gmail.com
If you’d like to read more stuff like this, you can download my book for free here.
