If candidate CVs looked like job postings…
About Me:
I’m a brilliant (insert job title here). You’ll love employing me. I’m a great communicator and can work alone and as part of a team. I’m dynamic, passionate and have a growth mindset. Pretty good, eh?
What I’m looking for:
A job that is challenging and interesting, but only on days when I feel motivated.
What you’ll need to give me:
- £200k per year
- 30% pension contribution
- Guaranteed bonus
- Fully remote
- 4-day week
- Company car, even though I’m remote (and not in sales)
- Private healthcare for my family and friends, and their respective pets.
Nice to haves:
A £5,000 gaming PC so Excel loads in less than a minute.
A dedicated corner office with a mahogany desk and a nice view, in case I ever want to go to the actual office.
A commercial-grade coffee machine for home, with a barista that comes between the hours of 7 am and 9 am. But only on weekdays as I don’t want to take the piss.
Please send interview arrangements to howdoesitfeel@gmail.com
This blog is a reproduction of a LinkedIn post by Jamie Lewis
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